Hilarious dating profile descriptions

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But, most importantly, be you. On a typical Friday night I am probably attending yoga class, or biking down one of the many gorgeous trails in our city. A lot of perverts keep a picture of her ideal date — vivisection, movie, makeout statue, etc.

This page is Copyright © 2010. If I like you, I might let you feed the tigers with me. It creates them for you so you won't have to buy anything. I would however rather pan as a happy singleton than part of an unhapppy couple. No small penises seriouslydouchey facial hair styles i. Hope to hear from you soon. I am curious, do you find that these slightly longer profile bios work better than a short one. Now, jesus look at an example of a profile that will stand out through both the way they are written and their content. You can smell the desperation 14.

My cat Felix loves to meet new people, but if you're allergic to fur, the two of you probably won't get along. Again thank you for your advice.

15. You can smell the desperation - Did I really listen? It goes back to evolution and the way women are wired.

The Bad: Header: no time for time wasters.. My hobbies include Walking, Travelling, Listening to Music, Socialising. Looking for friendship maybe more Please get in touch if you would like to know anything else. The Honest: I am an easy going sort of lad who does not take himself seriously, can be quiet but once you get to know me I never shut up lol. I work as a chef been in the trade for fifteen years, so cooking would be another good point of mine. Outside the kitchen I like to a with friends and family, in between that I go to the gym also a keen runner or anything that gets me a sweat on. Football is a big passion avid Newcastle United supporter. I like to think of myself as unique because hey arent we all and thats what makes this life worth living. Anything else you want to know just drop me a message and we will take it from there. Hope to hear from you soon. I have absolutely no interest in them. Quite frankly they bore me. I know them word for word! The music I like tends to be really underground and alternative. Let us say no more about it. I am cooler than you. I sustain myself by digesting a mixture of flour, water and grass. Specifically the fact that while floating in the spacecraft the left sleeve of her spacesuit is removed twice. I find it quite upsetting. The Straight Talking About me, oh no this is the worst bit!? Well my friends in a recent poll said that I am relaxed and easy-going, I know how to make them smile and cheer them up which must be a good thing…. I am also loyal, honest and gregarious. In my spare time I enjoy looking after myself, going to the gym, cycling, spending time with my friends and family and of course a few beers at the weekend! I enjoy life as you never know what is around the corner, I love doing random things including weekends away exploring and visiting new places, and of course we all have a good holiday in the sun in our repertoire of enjoyment! I enjoy going to see live music, seeing a good comedian, cinema, watching Newcastle United and eating out to name a few. I have been single for a few years now, not because I am a weirdo but I do not seem to have found that amazing girl who just makes life fall into place, I would like to settle down with the right person, are you out there? I would however rather stay as a happy singleton than part of an unhapppy couple. I am not interested in crazy women who want to get married tomorrow, Rome was not built in a day! I have a good job I am a driller, think Armageddon not DIY SOS! I have got a full head of hair, my own teeth, and my own car. The rest is for you to find out of course so if you sound of similar mind and enjoy some of the things that I do why not get in touch? The one with the bad attitude Back on here after meeting someone and thinking we were going to be in a relationship and she turned out to be the same as all the other timewasting women out there. The leading free online dating site suggests that, If you want to be successful , try talking about these things: 1. Talk about your hobbies. Talk about your goals and aspirations 3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique. Describe your taste in music. They also offer these words of wisdom.. For your own safety, do not include your name, phone number or address. People will read both your profile AND message when deciding if they should write back to you. Published by Bridget Of The North My name is Nik AKA Bridget of the North. I decided to create this blog when I was at a crossroads in my life, trying to understand myself, my mental health and the world around me. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 6 years ago and through years of therapy I have learnt to get a handle on my emotions most of the time and I am in recovery. Although this blogs main focus is on my findings and my journey, its also about me letting my inner self out and fulfilling my destiny. I can easily create an awkward moment and have a habit of putting my foot in it. Reblogged this on and commented: With Christmas over and the New Year upon us many of you singletons will be focusing on your New Year resolutions, and searching for love in 2016! Have you pledged to jump on the bandwagon? Since online dating is more socially acceptable these days and is no longer seen as embarrasing or as a desperate move… The time to join is now! This time of year is the busiest time to look for a romatic partner online according to the top dating sites. So, now you have been persuaded to seize the day, what do I do next? I hear you ask…. Here is how to pimp your profile.